Another Page.

I am spread out on your kitchen table
a few pages torn
but generally an open book otherwise
only promise
not to let m get dusty
I don't fall open for just anyone
and it has been minutes or months
other papers are piling high
and there I was spread open
but you had work to do
fever in your hands
for other loves
I couldn't drag you past the intro
spill your coffee on my pages
if it means you'll run your fingers
over
and dry me off
with the truth.

You

I didn't hear the floorboard groan
your echo is not waiting for me in corridors
forgotten
you never promised to stay
I never told you you should
the dripping from the sink
is constant
you've taken up more time then you are worth
would never hold my hair back
when I was sick
you only want what I want
we only want freedom
and my tendrils
are chains
that I would beat across your back
is there a coming back?
why did I look for you in the first place
Keep your adventures
and I'll keep mine
will try to block out
the sounds of nothing
when it's groaning that I want

ich ich ich

Monsters in my bones.

let me out of this itchy skin
two small lumps don't mean I have a heart
don't look to the shadow between my knees for comfort
there are razors
where my teeth once were

can't keep me still
but don't worry
I tire myself out real fast.
with playing, dancing, gin and boys

the hollow in my clavicle
is a pocket for lips
Venus fly trap
you're dead before you know it

I'm dead before I know it
didn't have a chance
of not choking in my blood
waves of it return

over
over over me
reminding me
a blessing
a curse

a week of weak
razors for teeth
I'll build my armor
with kisses
nonchalance

build up your walls
keep kisses out of
collarbones
everything will be alright

let me out let me out
off to where?
Doesn't matter
swells in sweaters
barely
significant

you stare anyway
eat your heart out
before I do.

Mornings

Would you treat me like a princess
if I didn't leave so early in the morning?
I didn't know I was that girl
until it happened.
I kissed you on the forehead before I slipped out
Did you know?
I did it almost every time.
Once I swear I saw the corner of your mouth curve.
God your lips are pretty.
And I was on fire all those times.
We weren't. Never were.
Once almost.
Never came close.
You never held the door from me.
It was easier for you to protect my heart.
No one else knew how.
I didn't ask you to do that.
Didn't know how to respond.
Why were your words so final?
Because they were best.
Maybe one day I'll thank you...

Wtf?

When I said five I meant at least.
there have been more than I have patience to count.
I don't have patience right now.
Just mono.
Not a patient.
Just Bottom. and could be everyone else.
Why the hell are we supposed to shave our legs again?
I still don't drink enough water.
My pants still don't fit right.
Because I'm gaining weight.
Shit.
That's not romantic.
Are you romantic?
Give me something to work with here.
Is it blasphemous to say goddamnit?
I like the way it sounds.
Is he still sitting home?
I'm not supposed to care.
I do.
Gin.
I didn't want to take them home with me,
why did I ask.
Cause I'm a cunt and a half.
It's late and wine served in plastic cups goes down easy.
Goes down easy.
Summer days.
These ones were hot.
Last year was sticky.
I didn't always want to be this way.
I just wanted to wear my hair in a french twist.

Time

I can still taste the residue of last night.
I took an extra hour from you Time.
I slipped my hands in your back pocket
when we were dancing last night.

Found an extra hour there
Crumpled up like an old receipt.
I figured you didn't need it as much as I do.
you'll get it back eventually
You never let me get away with anything

I may have taken an hour from you
but I know you've taken more from me
I don't talk about it much
I want you to like me
Be good to me Time. Won't you?

Don't make me wrinkle before I'm ready.
I want my skin to stay close to my bones
and not have to wear it as an oversized coat
even in the summer.

It was worth it for the dance though,
wasn't it?
My hand fit
in yours and the stars stood still
when we spun.

I'm worth keeping close Time.
if only for the way our feet
leave the ground when we touch.
You've taken so much from me Time.

But given even more.
I'll be a generous lover if you let me.
Will you let me
Keep this hour for awhile?
Maybe just til Spring?

You might start to miss it then.
And I might let you
slip your hands into my pockets then
to take it.
I might even wink when you do.

Only, let me keep it for now Time.
You've taken plenty from me.
Let me prove I was meant to have it.
I'll do my best not to let you down.